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first person.

August 1, 2010

i’m here, okay? i feel a little abused by life, but I’m here, alone (and i think that part was crucial), on the cusp, the interim between this brisk august night and everything that comes next. yet..

yet i still cannot possibly explain how it feels. it’s violent, powerful, i decided not to fight this, i decided only to feel it. Sometimes surrender is necessary to be able to understand that this is what we choose (or what life chooses, either way) and accept it as we plunge full speed into our  most private fears. this is it, that one chance–make it count.
and if not? is failure even within the realm of possibility? and if so..

WHAT ELSE IS THERE?

this is the experience that we as humans inherently yearn for, symbiosis in perfect balance . garrett is the only person to whom i have ever felt wholly and completely joined with such intensity, love, mutual respect, and reverence. he is the most natural part of my life, the embodiment of everything that makes sense to me unfailingly.

it just is.

we carry each other despite the fact that we know that the other person can carry him or herself, we do it to make life easier, gentler, & lighter for each other.
that in itself is something to be present for.

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